I've spent countless nights lying awake, tossing and turning, wrestling with that age-old question: What am I meant to do with my life? What passion am I meant to follow? What dream am I meant to chase?

Am I meant to be a journalist? A novelist? Etc.

It's all bullshit, most of it's main character syndrome, and it drives me insane.

I'm willing to bet I'm not alone.

We've all been there, right? Philosophers, writers, your average Joe on the street - we've all grappled with this one.

I've come to realize something. All this time, I've been asking myself the wrong fucking question.

Life isn't about picking the "right" dream to follow. Nope, that's not it at all. It's about figuring out which dreams to let go of. I know, I know, it sounds counterintuitive. But hear me out. It's not about addition; it's about subtraction.

And let me tell you, that realization? It's made all the difference in my life.

We're bombarded with messages telling us to follow our passions, chase our dreams, and never give up. It's like a motivational speaker threw up all over society. But you can't follow every single dream you've ever had. Unless you've figured out how to clone yourself or bend the laws of time and space, in which case, kudos to you, you magnificent bastard.

Depending on the hand you've been dealt, you can take on almost any challenge. You can follow almost any dream. But what you can't do is follow everything all at once. It's like trying to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. Sure, it might look impressive for a hot second, but eventually, something's gotta give. And when it does, it ain't gonna be pretty.

Instead of asking yourself what you want to dedicate your life to, ask yourself what you're willing to let go of. It's a subtle shift in perspective, but it makes all the difference in the world.

"But wait, isn't that just giving up? Aren't we supposed to persevere and push through obstacles?" Fuck no. There's a world of difference between giving up and making a conscious choice to redirect your energy.

Consider this: Every moment you spend chasing one dream is a moment you can't spend on another. It's like having a finite number of poker chips in the grand casino of life. You can't bet on every single hand and expect to come out ahead. You've got to pick your battles, choose your tables wisely, and know when to fold 'em.

Choosing what to let go of isn't about settling for less. It's not about lowering your standards or accepting defeat. It's about getting real with yourself and aligning your actions with who you truly are and what you genuinely want out of life.

We all have dreams that don't really align with who we are. Maybe you dreamed of being a rock star, but the thought of constant touring makes you want to curl up in a ball and hide. Or perhaps you fantasized about being a high-powered corporate lawyer, but the idea of spending 80 hours a week in an office makes you break out in hives.

The point is, just because you're excited about something doesn't mean it's a dream you should pursue. It's like being at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Sure, everything looks delicious, but if you try to eat it all, you'll end up feeling sick and miserable. The key is to choose the dishes that not only taste good but also nourish you in the long run.

We live in a world that's obsessed with finding our "purpose" or discovering what we're "meant" to do. It's like we're all waiting for some cosmic sign to point us in the right direction.

Fuck it. There is no grand plan. The universe isn't going to hand you a roadmap to your destiny. You've got to choose your own path, for better or worse, based on who you are and what you really want.

And let's be real, what you want isn't always what you think you want. Our desires are shaped by societal expectations, family pressures, and that annoyingly perfect Instagram influencer who seems to have it all figured out. It's easy to get caught up in chasing dreams that look good on paper but leave you feeling empty inside.

Once you start letting go of dreams that don't align with your true self, something magical happens. You create space for new possibilities. It's like clearing out the clutter in your mental attic. Suddenly, you have room to breathe, to explore, to grow in directions you never even considered before.

It's fucking hard. It's breaking up with a part of yourself. There's grief, doubt, and sometimes a nagging fear that you're making a huge mistake. But moving on from one dream to make another a reality isn't failure. It's not giving up. It's getting better at committing to what truly matters to you.

Think of it this way: Your dreams are like plants in a garden. You can't nurture every single seed that falls into your lap. Some plants need more water, some need more sunlight, and some just aren't meant to grow in your particular soil. By choosing which plants to cultivate and which to let go, you're not failing as a gardener. You're becoming a better one.

We often act like we have an endless supply of time, but it's just not true – we simply don't. Time is the ultimate non-renewable resource. You can always make more money, but you can't make more time. And yet, we often treat our time like it's unlimited, spreading ourselves thin across a thousand different pursuits.

When you try to divide your limited time between too many passions, you don't just fail to make progress. You rob yourself of the joy of fully immersing in any of them. It's like channel surfing through life, never staying on one station long enough to get invested in the story.

What about all those successful people who seem to excel in multiple areas? Surely they're proof that you can have it all, right? Well, not so fast. Look closer, and you'll often find that their success in multiple fields is sequential, not simultaneous. They mastered one area before moving on to the next. Or they found creative ways to combine their passions into a unique niche.

But I'm not going to fuck around on this - privilege plays a significant role too. Many of these multi-talented success stories come from backgrounds of wealth, connections, or other advantages that gave them a head start. They had the luxury of time, resources, and safety nets that allowed them to take risks and pursue multiple interests.

For every polymath prodigy, there are countless brilliant minds grinding away at day jobs, unable to fully explore their potential due to financial constraints or lack of opportunities. Show me a modern Renaissance Man and I'll show you his parents' achievements and connections in the same fucking industry.

Not all dreams are created equal. Some dreams are born out of genuine passion and alignment with your values. Others are just cool ideas that sound fun in theory but don't really resonate with who you are at your core.

The trick is learning to tell the difference; developing the self-awareness to distinguish between a passing fancy and a true calling. And let me tell you, that's not always easy. We're experts at lying to ourselves, at convincing ourselves that we want things because we think we should want them.

But your true dreams, the ones that align with your authentic self, have a different quality to them. They're not just exciting; they're energizing. They don't just sound good; they feel right. They're the dreams that you'd still want to pursue even if no one ever knew about them, even if you never got recognition or rewards.

We live in a culture that glorifies busy-ness, that equates activity with progress. We're afraid that if we're not chasing every possible opportunity, we're somehow falling behind.

But here's the paradox – by trying to do everything, we often end up accomplishing nothing of real value. It's like trying to catch a hundred butterflies at once. You might get your hands on a few, but you'll never truly appreciate their beauty.

Instead, imagine focusing all your energy on one butterfly. Imagine studying its patterns, understanding its habits, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to approach. That's the kind of focus and dedication that leads to real achievement, real satisfaction.

This doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to just one interest or passion for the rest of your life. We're complex creatures, and our desires and goals can change over time. The key is to embrace those changes without feeling like you've failed or given up.

Remember, an interest is different from a passion is different from an obsession is different from a dream. Learning to distinguish between these can save you a lot of heartache and wasted energy. You don't have to turn every hobby into a side hustle or every passion into a lifelong pursuit.

Sometimes, it's okay to just enjoy something for what it is. Not everything needs to be monetized, optimized, or turned into a "personal brand." There's value in pursuing things simply because they bring you joy, even if they never lead to external success or recognition.

The dreams you choose to follow should make you happy. Not just in some distant future when you've "made it," but in the day-to-day pursuit. Because here's the dirty little secret that motivational speakers don't tell you – you're running out of time. You're going to be worm food. And there is no fucking point delaying your joy until you hit some magical number, or "make it."

If you're miserable every step of the way towards your supposed dream, what's the point? Even if you achieve it, you'll likely find that the reality doesn't live up to the fantasy you've built up in your head. That's the danger of chasing dreams that aren't truly aligned with who you are.

There's no cosmic scorecard keeping track of how many dreams you've chased or how many goals you've achieved. The only measure that matters is whether you can look back on your life with satisfaction, knowing that you spent your limited time on this earth in a way that was meaningful to you.

The dreams you choose to follow – and the ones you choose to let go of – will shape the person you become. They'll influence the experiences you have, the relationships you form, and the impact you make on the world around you.

Don't fucking choose based on what others expect of you, or what you think you should want. Make your choice based on what actually resonates with the core of who you are. That's how you stop merely existing and start living.