I asked for 30 questions to answer for my birthday, and I got around 80 or 90! These were fun to answer — a good mix of skincare, Bennifer, and life Qs (what would Remy’s voice sound like if she could talk¹ was my personal favorite).

1. If you could have dinner with Club Chalamet or Tree Paine who would you choose? With attention to why you did NOT choose the other. Tree Paine because CC is already an open book online.

2. What is your favorite Nicole Kidman wig? Both wigs in The Stepford Wives — the Manhattanite Linda Evangelista chop and the pin-up Barbie curls — really did it for me. Runner up: The Paperboy, obviously.

3. If you were sold as an action figure, what three accessories would you come with? My phone, an iced coffee to make me shake with energy/anxiety, and Remy.

4. so what is the Tilda Swinton movie that deserves much more rewatching? To my mind, that would be a tie between Only Lovers Left Alive and A Bigger Splash, the best kind of Guadagnino fuckery. I Am Love!! 

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve seen someone (a celebrity) gladly and openly admit in an interview? This was not an interview, but Elon Musk apparently admitting/implying that he watched Divergent is a pretty good one. I have not watched one single minute of Supernatural, but I think about an actor from that show telling fans he is “an introvert, an extrovert and a bisexual,” and then realizing that he’d mistakenly come out as LGBTQ+. (He is straight.)

6. How many substacks are you subscribed to written by other people? And how many of those do you regularly read? I’m subscribed to approximately 50, per this page. (I think it’s public? If it’s a dead link lmk.) Some I save to read in fevers (I love reading several Heather Havrilesky, Read Max, or Big Salad posts at once), others I open so quickly when I get the Substack app notification that I’ve already clicked them in the app by the time they show up in my inbox 30 seconds later (Babbling On, Gossip Time, Extracurricular). The newsletter landscape is crowded, but there are so many newer letters that I love — HEAVIES, NEVERWORNS, and (not new but now more frequent) Impersonal Foul. I swear I’ve gone several weeks in a row clicking After School by Casey Lewis every single morning. I really treasure some letters that are more essayistic, don’t touch my life at all/have little to do with what I write about (Stephanie Pérez-Gurri’s Hello Bobbie, Nicole Garelick’s The Performance Plan, Deep Voices, internet princess). I’m trying to find more fashion or interior design-y newsletters, too. I like Lily Sullivan’s newsletter, and obviously Emilia Petrarca’s Shop Rat 4ever. Magasin is my favorite way to window shop.

7. Who are the top 3 celebrities you’d want an opportunity to profile/interview, and are they the same or different than who you would want at a dinner party? To profile: Chaka Khan, Al Green, Selena Gomez … different from who I’d want at a dinner party! They’d all be welcome, but … I mean one of those people is not like the other.

8. What do you think their careers would’ve been like if JLo and Ben had gotten married in 2003 like they were supposed to?...