Welcome to Garbage Weekend. It’s the internet garbage you know and love, but in a format that’s easier to read while you allow yourself to trust we’ve finally reached the first chilly days of fall. |  | (Two. Completely. Different. Dogs!!!) |
| This week, Republicans went on the offensive, with Trump shoving army officers to get a (very not allowed) photo op at Arlington Cemetery. Looking for an equally damning photo for the other side, they broke the shocking story that Gov. Tim Walz took a picture with someone else’s dog, since apparently the Mike Pence rule extends to animals. In “opening scenes of a disaster movie” news, the trapped astronauts can’t come back to Earth until 2025. They’ll be back in time for the Oasis reunion, which bookmakers are accepting bets on to break up before it finishes. Meanwhile, the FBI has read the Trump shooter’s emails, which were under “standard” levels of encryption — hope any FBI agents reading this in someone’s inbox are having a fun Friday! | Oh well, here’s some fun stuff… | |  | Subscribe to Premium Membership to read the rest. | Become a paying subscriber of Premium Membership to get access to this post and other subscriber-only content. | | A subscription gets you: | ✓ Paywalled articles | ✓ Discord access | ✓ Discounts on merch and events |
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