This is a weekly (sometimes) list of people I am mad at. This is the list for August 30, 2024.
I told my dad there were fewer stories about him in my next book than there were in my first and he looked at me with sincere concern and said, “So there’s less content in this one.”
Did we, as a community, not learn that falling in love with politicians is a bad idea after everyone kept tripping over themselves for Justin “I Did Brownface During This Century” Trudeau?
What if instead of “hopping on a call to discuss” or “circling back” I just fucked your sister instead.
When I told my mother I received the rest of my advance for my book, she peered at me with deep curiosity and asked, “What does the publisher get out of this, exactly?”
Ben Affleck. I have never been more legitimized in my pursuit against him than I am now.
I recently fell in love with two women seated next to me on a very small plane who seemed to be consuming nothing but onion sandwiches.
I am going to tell your wife you are cheating on her.
Scamfluencers. Slate. Preordering the book. You know the routine. Okay, bye.
