This is the Friday post at Downtime, a weekly roundup of recommendations and delightful distractions. If the email cuts off, you can view it on the web.
Happy Friday and happy September!
I’m loving this crisp fall weather (it’s finally chilly in the mornings!!) and have caught BIG back-to-school energy this week. I’m surprised I haven’t picked up a new notebook and pen yet…
Taking a quick break was nice, but so is getting back into the full swing of things at work: I’m working on a new website for Downtime to house all sorts of fun things for you (like a “library”) and I’m editing some exciting special editions of the newsletter. It’s going to be a COZY fall.
In today’s post, we hear from some cool (and smart) friends about how they get stuff done as a follow-up to my earlier post this week on how to divide up household chores. I also gush about Jen Garner’s home (omg), and there’s a link to a memoir coming out this fall that we need to read together… Enjoy!
xx Alisha
First, a quick thing for my D.C. readers! 🏓
Break the Love, a Resy-like platform for booking tennis and pickleball courts and classes, is hosting a *FREE* park games and pickleball event in collaboration with Walmart on Saturday, September 14th, and it sounds FUN. There will be free pickleball instruction, game play, and court time. Plus live music! Snacks! Giveaways and prizes! Enjoy this perfect, crisp weather now while you can and join the fun. Peep more details here.
*sponsored mention
👇 Things worth trying and some cozy discoveries…
Watch: The Perfect Couple on Netflix. This murder mystery set on Nantucket based on the book of the same name is FINALLY out. Is it the best show I’ve seen? No. Was it entertaining? Yes. I was surprised by some of the changes the show made to the book and felt more satisfied by that ending... No spoilers in the comments, please, but I’m dying to discuss this in the chat.
Listen: Wirecutter just launched a podcast, and you’re going to learn way more about how to do your laundry than you ever thought possible from this first episode (like how cold water is best for tough stains).
Admire: Jennifer Garner’s home, recently featured in A.D., is expansive yet so cozy! There are many details to love: that perfect deep-blue library, the clover surrounding the fire-pit, the way she says, “This is my little orchard! I love it so much!” in that very Jennifer Garner way. And I’m adding that vegetable garden to my dream garden Pinterest board…
One detail that you may have missed: I noticed that her kids’ books have red heart stickers on the spine. I imagine she added these to the books they really, really loved while growing up. I found this to be a touching and meaningful detail and a method I’ll borrow in the future.
Browse: This secondhand baby and kids’ clothing site is beautifully curated. It’s just what I’ve been looking for: high-end-ish kid brands (like Bonpoint, Petit Bateau, etc.) at prices that are easier on the wallet.
Add to cart: A cozy-but-work-appropriate knit jacket for fall ($225; similar item for $76).
A reader recommendation: “Since we're talking barn jackets, I have to give a shoutout to Sézane's Will Jacket. I have it in Washed Black and always get compliments, but have forever been eyeing Camel Suede.” — reader Courtney
Currently reading:Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. I’m so late to this. Overall, it's engaging, but it's definitely steering away from my usual high-fantasy expectations. Going to power through…
Thank you so much for all the thoughtful (and hilarious) comments on Wednesday’s post—I loved hearing your tips and tricks for getting things done around the house! For my paid subscribers, I’ll be dropping a link to my chore-tracking spreadsheet in our chat, but in the meantime, here are a few more smart ideas from friends on how they manage it all…
Addressing solo parenting: “My book tour has my husband solo parenting a lot. We have three boys ages 5 and under, so handling mornings, drop-offs, pickups, dinner, bedtime, and solo for multiple days is really, really hard. We’re learning a lot about what we need to thrive versus barely survive while one of us is solo parenting.”
Keeping everyone in the loop: “When we use the Fair Play card deck, we pull out an iPhone note, calendars—it’s like a full family summit. We divide everything up and make sure all responsibilities are understood. We are BIG shared Google Calendar people. If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist!”
Aja Frost (partnered, co-writer of the Platonic Lovenewsletter)
Establishing casual check-ins: “Every other week, we do a low-key check-in over breakfast to see how we're both feeling about the balance of work and life. It’s usually a quick conversation but gives us a chance to recalibrate if needed.”
Dropping the guilt game: “When I was depressed last year, Sam took on nearly all of our household chores without making me feel guilty for doing less. It reminded me not to measure our contributions day to day but over the long term.”
A cozy nightly ritual: “I always put the kitchen and living room ‘to bed’ at night—dishes done, surfaces wiped, blankets folded, and pillows fluffed.”
Making chores more fun: “I bizarrely love folding laundry, and I always have an audiobook like this one on whenever I'm doing chores that don't require a lot of thinking.”
A genius productivity tip: “Setting timers for two twenty-minute chore breaks during the workday helps me stay on top of things. You can get a LOT done in twenty minutes!” [Editor’s note: I started doing this too!! But for just ten minutes.]
Jennifer(lives solo, Downtime reader)
Going with the flow: “I need to do chores at points of transition in my day. If I’m already moving from one thing to the next, I find it much easier to incorporate a bit of dishes here or picking up the usual day-to-day mess there.”
Making chores less daunting: “Because I live in an old apartment (ie: no in-unit dishwasher or laundry), all chores feel so much bigger in my head than they really are. So I try to break them down into bite-sized pieces or partner them with something I find enjoyable in the background.”
Strategically plotting out your week: “I like doing the ‘big chores’ on a Monday or Tuesday... Chores I find more fun, like gardening and meal prepping, I save for a leisurely Saturday morning.”
Lindsey M.(lives solo, Downtime reader)
Setting a weekend routine: “Saturday mornings are for coffee, podcasts, yoga, and then I dive into cleaning—throwing in a load of laundry first helps jumpstart my motivation.”
Outsourcing can be key: “If there’s a chore or errand that you seriously detest—i.e. grocery pick up/delivery—that could be made easier by paying a reasonable convenience fee, strongly consider it. It can really help with stress management and allow you to show up better for yourself!”
Aliza Sir(partnered, one child, co-writer of the Platonic Lovenewsletter)
Clarifying roles: “After we had our son, it was easier to assign roles and stick to them—Sam cooks and does the dishes, and I handle grocery shopping and laundry. Cutting out the nightly negotiation of 'Whose turn is it?' has been so good for our relationship.”
Handling invisible labor: “I had started to feel resentful about taking on too much of the invisible labor in our household, but since using the Fair Play method, I think we’ve both felt happier and more confident about how we’re managing everything.”
The comments are still going strong on this post, if you’ve got any more tips to share with the Downtime community. 🧺
(Photo: Guy Martin for The New York Times)
Just a few extras today…
Nostalgia-laced archaeology:The Story of the Great Lego Spill (The New York Times *gift link) — “Nearly five million Lego pieces plunged into the sea in 1997. The pieces are still showing up — on England’s coast, in Ireland, Belgium, France and possibly at the beach near you.” Just a great long read with stunning photography attached.
The queen is speaking:Ina Garten’s memoir is out on October 1st. !!! Who’s excited? Here’s a New Yorker profile to tide you over ‘til then. “Fun is a watchword with Garten. ‘If it’s not fun, it’s not done,’ she told me.”
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