My delusions of the Phillies as NL East champions continue, but every day they are threatened by my idiot sons behaving badly. My most terrible perfect son Alec Bohm is on the 10-day IL because he ... hurt his wrist swinging the bat? And says it feels like hitting his wrist with a hammer? Seems bad! A bunch of weird spares are playing in his stead. This is terrifying.
And yesterday things were looking bad. Despite quality starting pitching, the Phillies forgot how to hit. There were no hits for so long! Against the garbage Tampa Bay Rays!
And then the Phanatic streaked. He came out without a shirt on (he never wears pants). He ran around. He seemed embarrassed. Famed himbo right fielder Nick Castellanos pantomimed removing his own jersey to give to the Phanatic. This was kind of rude (to the Phanatic and to me), because he didn't.
Afterward, Kyle Schwarber hit a home run, and then the closer gave up a home run. Then, in a tie game in the bottom of the ninth, Bryce Harper watched a ball he hit for so long that it became a single instead of a double. Trea Turner singled, and then the whole stadium chanted for some brand new Phillie called up from AAA named (I shit you not) Buddy Kennedy. And then Kody Clemens (literally what) hit a single and the Phillies won.
So I guess the moral is that the Phanatic should streak more!
-Kelsey
