OpenAI Is Out Of Ideas

The company behind ChatGPT launched Sora 2 this week, an update to their video-based AI generator, Sora. Alongside a serious upgrade in fidelity, Sora 2 is also arriving with a feed “with steerable ranking,” as OpenAI calls it. In other words, an algorithmic timeline of AI-generated video content.

Meta actually beat OpenAI to the concept, launching the Meta AI Discover feed back in May, which it’s now calling “vibes” in the URL for some reason. At the time I called it a “cool new slop feed” meant to solve one of Facebook’s core problems, which is that its massive global user base can’t make high-quality content consistently enough to please advertisers. Meta has also always been adversarial to the rest of the web and their AI feed — if it catches on (big “if” there) — would finally make them the completely closed ecosystem they’ve always dreamed of being.

OpenAI’s ChatGPT is already much closer to what Meta wants Facebook or Instagram to be. It’s already overtaking Google search in several key areas and its image and video generators are lightyears ahead of Meta’s. So, from OpenAI’s point of view, going on a side quest to eat Meta’s lunch isn’t a terrible idea. Unfortunately, while Sora 2 and its social feed are still in early access, the videos people are sharing just look like more slop, though slop that looks a whole lot better. In fact, they probably look too good.

The easiest thing to start with here is copyright. Users on X have already realized that Sora 2 basically knows what every anime character looks like. It also has a pretty good handle on the musical Hamilton. That said, it can’t quite figure the bizarre look of live stage recordings. There are a handful of copyright lawsuits against OpenAI making their way through the courts, so it’s safe to say that the company will just continue to not give a shit about any of that until their legally forced to.

Beyond using math to recreate various trademarks, Sora 2 is also very, very good at generating believable footage of random people committing crimes. Business Insider reporter Katie Notopoulos generated a video of her getting arrested. Something the company does not seem to realize will wreak absolute havoc on society. In fact, OpenAI seems so institutionally oblivious to this fact that OpenAI research scientist Gabriel Petersson shared AI-generated security footage of the company’s CEO Sam Altman shoplifting, bragging that it was the most liked video on Sora 2’s social feed. “I will be enjoying this short moment while it lasts,” he wrote. “Enjoy this moment while it lasts,” would be a great tagline for OpenAI actually!

In terms of moderation on the Sora 2 feed, OpenAI said they have “robust guardrails to prevent unsafe or harmful generations” and that they’re proactively blocking anything that violates their policies. The boilerplate stuff we’ve come to expect from any tech company that wants to get away with breaking laws and hurting people for as long as they can before they have to play by the rules everyone else is beholden to. Which is actually the important takeaway here.

OpenAI’s quick ascendancy was based on the promise that they would be able to build artificial general intelligence, a computer that’s capable of human-like thought and independence. And the longer they go without realizing that dream — which, we should be clear, may not even be possible — the more apparent it is that OpenAI is basically just another tech company. In fact, not only did OpenAI launch a social feed this week, they also announced an “Instant Checkout” feature for ChatGPT, which integrates with Etsy and Shopify. And the fact that they’ve already announced Pulse, a push notification-based alert system based on your conversation history, should make it clear that their big revolutionary idea for a brand new internet is exactly the same as every other company’s: User-generated content, ads, and social shopping. The only difference is their company has a Clippy at the center of it that has a worse version of Google search, can convince you that you’re the second coming of Jesus and need to divorce your spouse, and also do most of what the Adobe Creative Suite can do for a slightly lower monthly subscription price.

Hardcore AI evangelists have not been exactly inspired by OpenAI’s pivot to Facebook 2 this week, with one X user writing, “The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.” The grumbling was loud enough that Altman responded to some of the criticism, writing on X, “We do mostly need the capital for build AI that can do science, and for sure we are focused on AGI with almost all of our research effort.” Basically arguing that they need money to build their robot god and, apparently, selling Etsy products alongside videos of Goku fighting Naruto is the best way to do that.

A Good Post

The Government Is Shutting Down (And So Is Everything Else)

The government shut down at midnight last night. An estimated 750,000 federal employees are currently furloughed and there’s no clear sense of when the shutdown will be over. The Republicans are saying they won’t end the shutdown until their funding bill is passed. And the Trump administration, per WIRED, are advising federal employees to put language in their out-of-office emails blaming the Democrats for the shutdown. As The Onion’s Ben Collins pointed out, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers will continue to work during the shutdown, though many of them without pay. Silver linings, I suppose.

President Donald Trump, talking to reporters in the Oval Office yesterday, said, "A lot of good can come down from shutdowns. We can get rid of a lot of things that we didn't want." The government, he’s talking about getting rid of the government. But it’s not just federal workers losing their jobs this week, some top generals may join them soon.

United States Secretary of War (groan) Pete Hegseth hauled the country’s military brass into a meeting on Tuesday and ranted at them about how they’re fat and woke and made them pledge to kill their own citizens. Trump, who also showed up to talk about how he’s too old and demented to walk up stairs anymore, took a second to tell the attendees, “Last month, I signed an executive order to provide training for a quick reaction force that can help quell civil disturbances. This is gonna be a big thing for the people in this room, because it's the enemy from within and we have to handle it before it gets out of control.” He wants our military to kill us. That’s what he’s saying there. And if they don’t want to do that, well, Trump said, “If you don't like what I'm saying, you can leave the room. Of course, there goes your rank, there goes your future, but you just feel nice and loose, ok?” Don’t worry about all of that, though, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries did a livestream for 150 people last night. Right after he met with Trump and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, was offered a Trump 2028 hat, and then got called a piece of shit in an AI-generated video posted on Truth Social by the president.

It’s not just federal employees and generals that are facing unemployment, though, over 30,000 Americans did as well this month. Probably fine that people are googling “bankruptcy lawyer” in numbers higher than they were in even 2008. Oh, also, gold prices just hit record highs.

Anyways, if you want a good sense of what a government shutdown will mean for the endless series of natural disasters plaguing the country, we did a Panic World episode on that this week with Chapo Trap House’s Will Menaker.

A TikTok User Claims To Have Details On House Speaker Mike Johnson’s Grindr Account

I got a few messages about this, so I thought I’d go over it. A Tiktok user going by @razzledazzlemo threatened this week to reveal House Speaker Mike Johnson’s Grindr account. This TikToker is not the first person to float the idea that Johnson could be a closeted gay man. Rep. Sarah McBride seemingly referenced the idea in a video this week about the government shutdown.

The saga of @razzledazzlemo has gotten pretty dark over the last few days, though. The user’s initial video was pulled down from the platform — you can watch a mirror of it here on X. He then posted an update saying that he was talking to lawyers, as well as journalists, and, most crucially, he was not considering ending his life.

There is obviously no way to know if this guy is legit or not. But he’s gaining a lot of steam on Tiktok. He’s launched a GoFundMe for legal fees and is getting dueted by large news accounts.

Ultimately this is the kind of ambiguity you have to deal with if you’re using TikTok as a news source. Yes, there are mainstream media brands on there and decent news creators, but there are also a whole lot of people saying whatever they hell they want and a lot of users that mistake virality for authenticity.

A Guy’s Smart Ring Basically Exploded

Daniel Rotar, the YouTuber behind the channel ZONEofTECH, shared on X this week that his Samsung smart ring started swelling as he was about to board a flight. It seems like the battery started expanding while it was on his finger and he was unable to take it off. Rotar said that he missed his flight and had to go to the hospital, where the ring was safely removed. Rotar thinks the swelling was due to a combination of heat, extensive air travel, and an already bad battery on the ring.

I guess a lot of people didn’t know that smart rings exist, so a lot of the replies Rotar is getting right now are mainly people being surprised this is even and a thing and calling him an idiot for wearing one. Which is fair.

Samsung issued a statement about the incident, telling Android Authority, “The safety of our customers is our top priority. This is an extremely rare case, and we are in direct contact with Mr. Rotar to retrieve the product and learn about the concerns.”

New Unhinged Conspiracy Theory Dropped

Every once in a while I click into a post and discover a whole world I knew nothing about. It’s a thrilling feeling. A reminder that there is no limit to the group psychosis made possible by the internet.

And that’s exactly how I felt coming across this post from a QAnon influencer claiming that Erika Kirk is actually JonBenét Ramsey. Perfect. No notes.

In all seriousness, I also think this is a good example of how most far-right conspiracy theories are basically just fan fiction for the news, which is especially true for anything from the 90s. So yeah, sure, Erika Kirk is JonBenét Ramsey. Let’s start telling these people that Attorney General Pam Bondi is actually Princess Diana doing an American accent.

A Fascinating Dispatch From Therapy

Some Stray Links

P.S. here’s a good Etsy listing.

***Any typos in this email are on purpose actually***