What really doomed Napoleon’s army?

Welcome back to the Abstract! These are the studies this week that were exhumed from their graves, worked scatological miracles, and drew inspiration from X-rays.

First, a diagnosis 200 years in the making confirms, once again, that Napoleon’s retreat from Russia was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad time. Then: crystal pee, life-giving poo, and the artistic side of radiotherapy. 

As always, for more of my work, check out my new book First Contact: The Story of Our Obsession with Aliens, or subscribe to my personal newsletter the BeX Files. 

Let’s dive in (to poopy waters)! 

Bonaparte’s battlers beaten by beets

Barbieri, Rémi et al. “Paratyphoid fever and relapsing fever in 1812 Napoleon’s devastated army.” Current Biology.

Of all the classic blunders, the most famous is getting involved in a land war in Asia (source: The Princess Bride). Napoleon Bonaparte’s troops learned this lesson the hard way during their disastrous retreat from Moscow at the wintry tail of 1812, which claimed the lives of 300,000 soldiers—more than half of the French army—largely from exposure and disease.  

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While the epic death toll has been notorious for centuries, the exact pathogens responsible for the losses have remained a matter of debate. Contemporaneous reports from the field suggested that typhus and trench fever commonly afflicted the army. But when scientists sequenced DNA from the teeth of 13 soldiers, they did not find the bacteria that causes those diseases.

Instead, the results revealed the presence of “previously unsuspected pathogens” that suggest paratyphoid fever and relapsing fever were major killers during the mad rush from Moscow, according to a new study.  

“Throughout Napoleon’s Russian campaign, paratyphoid or typhoid fever was not mentioned in any historical sources of our knowledge, likely due to…nonspecific and varied symptoms,” said researchers led by Rémi Barbieri of Institut Pasteur in Paris. “Our study thus provides the first direct evidence that paratyphoid fever contributed to the deaths of Napoleonic soldiers during their catastrophic retreat from Russia.”

The team noted the sample size of 13 soldiers, whose remains were exhumed from a mass grave of French troops in Vilnius, Lithuania, is too small to make sweeping judgments. It’s possible that DNA analysis on other remains would reveal the presence of typhus, trench fever, and other pathogens.

“A reasonable scenario for the deaths of these soldiers would be a combination of fatigue, cold, and several diseases, including paratyphoid fever and louse-borne relapsing fever,” the team added. “While not necessarily fatal, the louse-borne relapsing fever could significantly weaken an already exhausted individual.”

Albrecht Adam’s 1830 painting “Napoleon among his retreating troops at the Berezina” aka “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

The study also speculated that these poor soldiers suffered from consumption of contaminated beets, based on a contemporaneous report from the French army physician J.R.L. de Kirckhoff.

‘Diarrhea was common among us in Lithuania,” de Kirckhoff wrote, according to the study. “One powerful contributing factor to this illness was that we encountered in almost every house, from Orcha to Wilna, large barrels of salted beets (buraki kwaszone), which we ate and

drank the juice of when we were thirsty, greatly upsetting us and strongly irritating the intestinal tract.”

As if it weren’t horrible enough to struggle through frosty frontiers and debilitating diseases, the French army may have also subsisted on toxic taproots. Napoleon’s devastating Russian campaign marked a turning point that eventually contributed to his downfall and exile in 1814. You’d think that such a calamitous episode would dissuade any other psychopathic dictators from making a similar error—and yet…

In other news…

Urine for a sparkly surprise  

Thornton, Alyssa et al. “Uric Acid Monohydrate Nanocrystals: An Adaptable Platform for Nitrogen and Salt Management in Reptiles.” Journal of the American Chemical Society.

You’ve heard of the goose that lays golden eggs, but what about the python that pisses crystals? Scientists studied the oddly beautiful solid urine excreted by many reptiles in a new study that describes these “urates” as “a clever and highly adaptable system employed to handle both nitrogenous waste and salts.”

Python urates. Thornton, Alyssa et al. 

“Of all the possible uric acid forms, why would evolution favor a metastable crystal form as the vehicle for waste management?” asked researchers led by Alyssa Thornton of Georgetown University. 

Well, why not make your tinkle twinkle, if given that adaptive option? Fortunately, the study presents a more informed hypothesis, proposing that the urates help reptiles conserve water and remove ammonia in a detoxed solid form. It’s just a bonus that their urine is pee-dazzled in the process. 

The poop pump that powers the ocean

Freitas, Carla et al. “Impact of baleen whales on ocean primary production across space and time.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

We’ll shift now from pretty pee to excellent excrement. This newsletter has previously covered how whale dumps are the secret sauce of the ocean, as their waste nourishes ecosystems through a phenomenon known as the “whale pump.” 

Now, a study “quantifies nutrient release via feces and urine by baleen whales” using models that confirm that whale excrement has “cascading effects on the food web” at high latitudes by providing fecal fuel to marine microbes across many northern seas. 

“Collectively, blue, bowhead, fin, humpback, sei, and minke whales are estimated to release [a total of] 815 tons of nitrogen and 325 tons of phosphorus recycled daily” in the Barents, Greenland, Norwegian, and Iceland seas, said researchers led by Carla Freitas of Research Station Flødevigen in Norway. “These findings underscore the ecological importance of whale-mediated nutrient cycling and emphasize the value of using ecosystem models to assess the broader effects of whales on marine productivity.”

This productive poop is just one of many reasons why whale conservation is so critical to preserving healthy seas. If America runs on Dunkin’, so the slogan goes, then the ocean runs on dumpin’.

The art of radiotherapy 

Kaptein, Ad A et al. “Healing Beams: Radiation and Radiotherapy in Novels, Poems, Music, Film, Painting.” Journal of Medical Radiation Sciences. 

What do Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Sheryl Crow, and the C.S. Lewis biopic Shadowlands have in common? They all used radiotherapy for creative inspiration, according to a new study that probed the question: How are radiation sciences portrayed in film, art, music, and literature?

“The representation of illness in art is therefore more than just a cultural curiosity,” said researchers led by Ad A. Kaptein of Leiden University Medical Center. “Artistic representations help to provide insights for theoretical models that themselves may be helpful for structuring interventions in behavioural medicine and health psychology.”