Greetings from Read Max HQ! As longtime readers know, in addition to being the editor/author of this newsletter, the 2011 winner of Village Voice “Best Personal Tumblr” award, etc., I (Max) am a small-business owner, and in this capacity I am always looking to make use of a core small-business strategy, to wit, exploiting my immediate family for labor.

To this end, for many years now I have been wheedling and pleading with my wife, Ari, (pictured above) to contribute some writing to this newsletter, rooted, ideally, in her three main hobbies: (1) reading intimidating literature in translation; (2) hunting down tasteful, unique, and sometimes even affordable furniture and other home goods; and (3) unearthing and consuming streaming-platform documentaries about scandals, cults, crime, etc.

My campaign seems to have finally paid off. Ari has (vaguely) agreed to write a semi-regular reading-recommendation column. (Stay tuned!) More immediately--and even better to the knick-knack-appreciating perverts among you--she’s agreed to co-author the upcoming Read Max Gift Guide. (In your inbox soon!)

Best of all, though, she’s volunteered to help you--Read Max paid subscriber¹--solve your own home-goods problems. I’ll let her introduce the proposition herself:

Hello! While Max spends his many hours online learning about all the new ways people are doing masturbation, I spend my time scrolling the good stuff: obsolete Swedish sconces that I can’t get any electricians to agree to install, a very particular kind of hanging basket, this one pine stool from the 1960s that will hopefully only moderately injure our child while he’s trying to wash his hands.

Now, framed as a special subscriber benefit, I and Read Max attempt to monetize this habit/hobby/compulsion for gift season. Do you want to find the perfect old doodad for someone? Are you looking to outfit your home with a very specific kind of chair or cabinet or bowl or vintage serving spoon? Let me know what you’re looking for and I will get you options!

To get a personalized Ari home-goods hunt, email me²:

1. What kind of item (or genre of item, e.g. “serveware”) you’re looking for. Be as specific or vague as you’d like, but give me some direction.

2. Your location. (If you’re in NYC I can send physical options in addition to web!)

3. Your budget.

Please tell Max if this is stupid and you don’t care about it so that he doesn’t ask me to do it again unnecessarily! [Ed. note: Don’t you dare.] I look forward to spending the next couple of weeks trying to spend your money on fun old things. Click the button below or find me at ari.tiziani at gmail.

Email Ari