As is my long custom, I’ll do one more newsletter at the turn of the year with a roundup of the things that stuck with me most from the previous 12 months (I call it my “most resonant” list). But for now here’s the last usual monthly edition of 2025.
My general giving tips, some of which I’ve shared before, are: a. The best gift is thoughtfulness. Does your recipient have something that needs replacing that you can provide for them (with a gift receipt in case it’s not quite right?). Do they have a new hobby or interest you can support in some small way? Can you get a gift that would equate to time or an experience together? b. Museum gift shops are your friends. They’re curated by people with better taste than any of us will ever have, and you can feel positive about your gift-giving money supporting a nonprofit art institution. c. Just give teenagers money. d. If you don’t know what to get someone, send them fun food (e.g. babka from Breads bakery, which ships nationwide, or a chili crisp sampler). e. No one over 30 is going to be mad about receiving a pair of cozy slippers. f. You don’t actually have to give everyone presents. In my family of origin, we have an explicit “we’re getting presents for under-18s only” rule and it saves a lot of time, stress, and expenditure. Your sister still knows you love her. g. For little kids in your life, they can usually always use pajama sets in one size larger than they currently are; it’s also super encouraged to just ask their parents what they actually need. h. If you can substitute some material gifts for donations to causes in loved ones’ names, especially this year, all the better. Food banks, abortion funds, trail associations, animal rescue agencies?
I am enjoying Heated Rivalry on HBO Max and this perspective from its creator, Jacob Tierney, on the importance of making LGBTQ romances that are sex-positive and (spoiler) not ultimately tragic.
“Even at its most sorrowful, anti-authoritarian, and smart-alecky, Gunn’s work endorses a fundamentally promising vision of life. Gallows humor and a keen bullshit detector are necessary for survival, but reflexive nihilism and blind obedience are deeply uncool. The ultimate rebellion is optimism.” On James Gunn’s American project.
Don’t click on XKCD’s “15 Years” anniversary strip unless you’re prepared to feel some feelings.
“After consulting with friends a little more media-seasoned than I, and exchanging some emails with the reporter laying out what I was and wasn’t interested in speaking about, I agreed to an interview. I did this because, in ways you might think I’d have outgrown by now, I’m a fucking idiot.”
The ambulance’s rose of light blooming against the window. Its single siren-cry: Help me. A silk-red shadow unbolting like water through the orchard of her thigh.
The things I know aren’t easy: I’m the only Native American on the 8th floor of this hotel or any, looking out any window of a turn-of-the-century building in Manhattan.
Manhattan is a Lenape word. Even a watch must be wound. How can a century or a heart turn if nobody asks, Where have all the natives gone?
If you are where you are, then where are those who are not here? Not here. Which is why in this city I have many lovers. All my loves are reparations loves.
What is loneliness if not unimaginable light and measured in lumens— an electric bill which must be paid, a taxi cab floating across three lanes with its lamp lit, gold in wanting. At 2 a.m. everyone in New York City is empty and asking for someone.
