At first glance, Bari Weiss and Jeffrey Epstein might not seem to have much in common. But the careers of both have been overshadowed by similar questions. For Epstein, the question was how did an unsuccessful high school math teacher rise through the financial world until he had billions of dollars of his own and unsupervised access to Victoria’s Secret founder Les Wexner’s fortune? And for Weiss, the question is how did a writer with no evident skill, original ideas, or journalism experience rise to become a media industry millionaire who currently oversees all of CBS News? A pair of articles this week make it clear that the two followed largely the same playbook: flatter the rich, make yourself useful to them, leverage one connection to make more connections, and reap the benefits.

The New York Times seems to have recently gained access to new Epstein documents, and David Enrich, Steve Eder, Jessica Silver-Greenberg, and Matthew Goldstein ground through them to trace the New York financier’s path from a Dalton school parent’s introduction to Bear Stearns executive Ace Greenburg to Alan Dershowitz to Les Wexner to Alan Dershowitz to Leon Black to Alan Dershowitz to the Trilateral Commission and, eventually, all the way to Alan Dershowitz. It’s as readable as it can be while still fundamentally being a somewhat dry exercise in detailed reporting. But the value of the story is that it provides a coherent narrative for Epstein’s career arc that doesn’t require us to believe any abstruse espionage or blackmail schemes. All we have to believe is that America’s rich men are idiots. I would also rather not believe that, but alas.

Epstein was a grifter who told people what they wanted to hear, and took what he wanted from them without hesitation or shame. If he had one notable skill, it seems to have been knowing which pigs to slaughter immediately, and which to leverage for connections higher up the food chain. Nicholas Confessore and Julie Tate followed this story with one today that traces the relationship specifically between Epstein and Donald Trump—a relationship which didn’t seem to have been business related at all. It appears they were frenemies who competed on the sexual assault leaderboard, and each seems to have astutely recognized the other as the most disgusting person he knew. Tough luck for David Brooks though, who won’t be getting his wish this Christmas.

But what about Bari Weiss? Her big sit-down with the Bride of Chucky Kirk flopped, her anti-woke university is bleeding staff and too toxic even for the likes of Larry Summers and Steven Pinker, and her only idea for CBS News is to keep doing boring non-debates with already well known and broadly disliked public figures. How did she get here? Well you know how, but Charlotte Klein helpfully spelled it out in Intelligencer, tracking Bari’s “exile” to Hollywood after her 2020 Times Opinion flounce, and her subsequent rise as a favored pet of Hollywood’s “disillusioned bigwigs” (the illusion being shed was: “we should care about the poors.”) Bari told them what they wanted to hear, both in person and through her website:

Klein’s story is a masterpiece of journalistic negative space—the most interesting part is what isn’t in it. I’m sure everyone mentioned, including Weiss, is happy with how they’re depicted, but the anonymous quote above is one of few references to her actual work, and all reference to it is in terms of how it functions for its users. A couple of the other references are:

…and:

The Free Press doesn’t break news or report anything important. It doesn’t publish stories that inform or entertain. It operates as a kind of Play-Doh Fun Factory steadily extruding a dough of anti-woke ideology. Its name alone serves as a shibboleth for rich people to signal to each other that they’d like to think of themselves as broadly liberal while still embracing the rising fascist spirit of the age, and Weiss’s value to them is entirely in providing a vessel for the many Mr. Bs in finance and entertainment to climb aboard and follow their natural inclination toward the present center of power. And Weiss has been very competent, like Jeffrey Epstein was, in parlaying one connection to another, and translating her utility into a larger audience, which in turn creates more utility.

We know now exactly how far Jeffrey Epstein was able to go, following this plan. It remains to be seen how long it will work for Bari Weiss.

Today in Tabs: Trump’s Truth Social is merging with a nuclear fusion power company. You may be wondering: does fusion power, like, exist? The answer is no. Katie Baker on 6,7. Leah Sottile in Portland Monthly: “The [Malheur Wildlife] refuge occupation was a rash before a fever, a symptom of our approaching political chaos.” I was wondering if you were coming to the Green Pine Grove Town Square Christmas Eve Festival of Lights Christmas Tree Decorating Contest Finalist Gala? Liz Lopatto says the Ellisons’ bid for Warner Bros. doesn’t make any sense, and I believe her. Francis Fukuyama is a slopper now. Sloane Crosley hates iOS 26, which is correct because it sucks. The Practice Guide is finally back online! Luke O’Neil’s 50 best songs of 2025 is out, and there are bound to be a bunch in here that I get really into in two or three years and think “I should have listened to Luke O’Neil back then” but I probably still won’t. Garbage Ryan, Cates Holderness, Josh Fjelstad & Kapie’s 20 Worst Things On The Internet is back this year. I feel like the internet used to be a lot worse? Maybe I’ve just grown more callous. The final bonus item is pretty bad though.

Today’s Song: They Are Gutting A Body Of Water, “the chase”

~ With a sudden and keen awareness to the tabs hanging off the shoppers milling about the grocery store ~

Next week is Christmas, it’s practically here. Schedule-wise I like to keep it loose and improvisational but don’t be too surprised if this is the last you hear from me until the new year. If it is, have a good holiday season and we can all probably just ignore whatever happens between now and 2026. And thanks for reading!