Jessica DeFino wrote that “we’re friction-maxxing” according to P.E. Moskowitz who wrote that “everyone is friction-maxxing these days“ according to Kathryn Jezer-Morton who wrote that “In 2026, We Are Friction-Maxxing.” Call it twenty twenty frixx. What’s friction-maxxing? It’s like hygge in goblin mode. It’s the dark academia of trad. It’s brat summer but chopped and screwed. It’s getting your concussy slonked… serious style.

Some friction emerged this week in the normally well lubricated “Heated Rivalry” fan community, where hockey podcast “Empty Netters” has recently converted itself into more of a “Heated Rivalry” fancast, with allyship levels approaching Nev Schulman in an elevator (#RESPECT). But yesterday, OutSports’ Cyd Zeigler reported that one of the show’s cohosts privately sent texts calling the hockey romance’s creators “cowards” and “losers.” 

Today the host in question, A Jon Favreau Type,¹  responded to these claims in a video along with his co-host and brother, Young Ron Howard. The co-bros showed the entire text conversation in context, criticized a lack of legitimate effort by Zeigler to reach them for comment before the story was published, and then effusively bemoaned, at what felt like great length, the harm this scurrilous bit of character assassination has done to The Whole Community. Personally, I thought the apology seemed sincere and genuine—as far as it went. Unfortunately, every Youtube commenter noticed that A.J.F.T. never got around to mentioning or apologizing for the text thread’s contemptuous references to “blue-haired twitter” and “check[ing] inclusivity boxes.”

As a noted straight myself and a student of the heterosexual community, my diagnosis here is an acute case of No Gay Friends. Even just one (1) gay friend could have cast an eye over this response video and said “hey this is great stuff, A.J.F.T., but what did you mean by ‘blue-haired twitter’ though? And where are we checking these ‘inclusivity boxes’ exactly? Are there forms being distributed amongst the straights?” And to add one more question: what do you mean you’re “DYING for a good, quality, well written and AUTHENTIC hockey show” when season five of “Shoresy” literally just came out?

For more on “Heated Rivalry,” consult any local straight woman. For more on “Empty Netters,” consult the show’s Wikipedia page, which also features sections on the “Frank Ocean Coachella incident” and the “Vail Yeti trip.”

Friction may be bad for rotational motion, but friction-maxxing hasn’t stopped a pivot yet. Our Former Regrettable Platform Substack is pivoting to video, again, this time with a TV app. “Video… needs to be wherever someone chooses to consume it” says normal-type word making person Chris Cillizza. Where will you consume video? What location will you choose to shove video into your gaping hole and suck it down your slavering gullet? That’s right piggy, gobble it up. You love consuming video.

Americans are pivoting to not murdering each other anymore. Why?

We’re just too old and fat for doing murders now. Normal opinions everywhere today. Lehman is also an Atlantic contributor, of course.

AI company Anthropic (disclosure: I am not dating anyone at Anthropic) has to keep pivoting to technical interview questions that job applicants can’t use its product to cheat on, reported Russell Brandom. Huh! I feel like everyone is already right on the edge with all this so let’s just move on. Bari Weiss is pausing her podcast and pivoting to devote her full attention to being loathed by everyone at CBS. And video site Vimeo, recently acquired by Italian corporate vampire Bending Spoons, is pivoting to being an empty husk of a company, to be drained of all remaining value and then quietly murdered.

A big natural weather phenomenon dangles across much of North America this weekend, plunging huge tracts of land into subzero temperatures. Regrettably, the weather map currently making the rounds is from 2019.

Marisa Kabas raised more than $18,000 for immigration defense nonprofits in Minnesota by calling Greg Bovino a bitch. Kerry Howley visited the resistance in Minneapolis for New York Magazine, you betcha. In The Guardian, Claire Finkelstein reported that “We ran high-level US civil war simulations. Minnesota is exactly how they start.” Neat. Good stuff. Welcome to The Kill Line. Problems in Gas Town Society. Subscribe to Sara Kate’s Bird of the Day. Viva la bicicleta alta.

And Finally: Here are the mushrooms that either make you hallucinate lots of tiny little guys everywhere, or permit you to see all the tiny little guys that are everywhere, depending on how you feel about all the tiny little guys that are everywhere but you can’t normally see.

Today’s Song: LCD Soundsystem, “Movement”

You're pillaging and I'm tabbed… You're yesterday and I'm tabbed

Good luck on the general strike today in the Twin Cities and good luck to my own city of Portland, Maine, where the gestapo is here and actively snatching dangerous miscreants like UMaine master’s degree recipient and working civil engineer Juan Sebastian Carvajal-Munoz. Come out ye cowards ICE, come and finally pay the price. Here are some ways to help Minnesota.