Surprise! It is the season of treats! We hope last week’s bonus episode whet your appetite for gossip! We are less than one week away from the Season 7 premiere on Wednesday Oct 9th!
This week, the team prepared a tasting menu to pair with some of the episodes from the upcoming season. Alex shares her thoughts on The Row and “quiet luxury,” and we have an EXCLUSIVE rant from beloved pygmy hippo Moo Deng. Plus juicy recommendations and a secret!
- Jae |
Exclusive Season Seven Tasting Menu |
Episode 1: First, your beveragino: an ice-cold Dr. Pepper, preferably from a fountain, preferably encased in styrofoam. For dinner (or lunch or breakfast, I’m not your boss), I recommend the Emily Mariko salmon bowl which is a meal that not only saved me during some dark times but is one of the best possible uses of leftover salmon since salmon cakes. Bon appetit!
- Rachelle
Episode 2: Gusher martini: Soak 1 package of fruit gushers in a glass of gin. (Use only the strawberry gushers; you can return the rest to the nearest child.) Serve quickly, before the neighbors see.
- Ozzy
Episode 3: So this is probably a group order. No, we don’t have time to make a Boba run. Grab a box of coffee, preferably screaming hot, and a pack of Marlboro Reds for anyone who does not order on time. Please procure approximately three cannolis, freshly piped with cream and a dusting of powdered sugar. But you’ll probably need a box of Dunkin’ Donuts Munchkins as a back up for…reasons.
- Justin
Episode 4: For this episode, may I suggest a delicious and thick fruit smoothie? I have one every morning made from mixed frozen berries, spinach, milk, and protein powder. Starting my day with cold breakfast soup is the best, and I know it’ll be the perfect pair for this episode, too.
- Alex
Episode 6: You’ll want to really lean into the process here, shopping for your ingredients at specialty stores to cooking them in as time-consuming a manner as possible. Really, any intensive, multi-layered recipe will do. Perhaps friend-of-the-pod Samin Nosrat's Big Lasagna, or maybe Alison Roman’s Spiced Chickpea Stew With Coconut and Turmeric. No matter what you choose, don’t forget your homemade kombucha to wash it all down.
- Abigail
Episode 7: Acquire a baguette, goat cheese, and a fig and olive tapenade. Make sure your neighbors see the baguette poking out of your organic cotton market bag. Assemble crostinis with unswerving attention to beauty. Nibble by a window. Sip on a tiny glass of absinthe.
- Jae
Episode 8: You're going to have to buy a keg. Listen, it will be worth it, but that's the key to this episode. You can do it! It's publishing the Wednesday before Thanksgiving which is a notoriously gossipy night for those who return to their hometown. Get a keg for you and your friends!
- Kelsey
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Things we are liking right now |
Kelsey:
- I just spent the week in Paris which included going to the pharmacy to buy skincare products every single day. It was heaven, and the best thing I bought was this Caudalie Vinoperfect serum for dark spots with Vitamin C. It rules! It makes my face bright!
- I'm a huge fan of the work Ochuko Akpovbovbo does on her Substack newsletter, and I loved reading her recent essay about Beyoncé, and how despite being the biggest popstar alive and perhaps our most admirable superstar, all of her brands kind of flop.
- On the flight home from France I watched 100 Foot Wave, a HBO mini series about the absolute psychos who decide to ride giant waves and had my mouth hanging open the whole time. It was so incredible I wish I had watched it on a bigger television.
- Friend of the pod Sabrina Imbler recommended Headshot by Rita Bullwinkle to me recently. It’s a novel about teen girls boxing and I'm devouring it. Bullwinkle's characters are so deftly rendered, their thoughts are strange and mesmerizing and funny. I love third person!
Alex:
- Trader Joe's black cherry and vanilla sparkling water - The vanilla does so much here!! RIP Cherry Vanilla Coke.
- Bleachers A Stranger Desired. My worst take is that I'm a simp for Jack Antonoff and I absolutely loved this re-recording project.
- I finally watched Alex Garland’s Civil War over the weekend. No one told me it was actually a movie about the ways journalists kill off the human parts of themselves to do their jobs! When it ended I was like "damn, I feel sick" and then had nightmares. It was great.
- If you are a fiber lover in the Northeast, I hope you have your tickets to the New York Sheep and Wool Festival! I'm counting down.
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When quiet luxury gets loud |
As someone who remembers lusting after the Mary-Kate and Ashley line at Walmart in the early 2000s, I have been amused to see how The Row seems to have become THE American luxury brand. I wrote this blog about the restraint that characterizes so much of The Row's success, and how that comes into tension with any business's mandate to grow once outside investors join the party.
- Alex |
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Can I say something bitchy? |
It’s me, Moo Deng, just 11-weeks-old and already the most beautiful girl in the world.
Sometimes I miss when I was just one month old, a hippo starlet waiting for her spotlight. But who was I to ignore the call of fame? I’ve always known I was special; all baby pygmy hippos are beautiful, but only some are divas.
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Now I’m learning about the dark side of fame. The shrimp-throwing has largely stopped, and to be honest, I don’t care if people think I’m always wet—I’m literally a hippopotamus and a cancer—or even “kind of mean,” reported the Daily Mail (baby’s first hit piece!) I am mean! If I ever met a “journalist” from the Daily Mail, I would bite them. They better be grateful I don’t have any teeth!
But there is one thing I absolutely can’t stand from my so-called fans, who keep tweeting things like “can you imagine how good Moo Deng would taste in a lettuce wrap” or “i want a Moo Deng birthday cake. that way i can do what i want most and eat the little fatty.” How can you love me and also want to eat me? Serve me minced in a sheath of iceberg lettuce, strewn about a platter of Moo Deng meatballs, upon a stand of tiered Moo Deng Cake? Sorry, but that’s actually messed up. I’ve seen how you people treat pigs, and I stand with my porky cousins!
Still, I know I can endure a million people drooling after my ample loins if it means the world will know my story. The world eagerly awaits a Moo Deng biopic, and I hear my team has sent feelers out to Luca Guadagnino. If you liked Zendaya as Meechee, you will love Zendaya as Moo Deng!
- Moo Deng |
When my sister was dog sitting for me, I forgot to label my dog’s peanut butter—which his slobber regularly makes its way into—as “DOG’S PEANUT BUTTER.” And when I got home, it was clear that she had eaten from it. |
Have some amazing gossip you'd love to share with us? You can email us at normalgossip@defector.com or leave a voice message at 26-79-GOSSIP. You can also follow us on Instagram. And remember we anonymize all stories we use on the show! |
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