Welcome to Garbage Weekend. It’s the internet garbage you know and love, but in a format that’s easier to read while you sit with the chilling enormity of an unknown future.

This week, more than one thing happened, but it was a hell of a one thing. Apparently, a lot of voters didn’t even know Biden dropped out. But forcing the entire Washington Post to return to the office will totally help the state of American journalism, especially since New York Times tech workers are still on strike. Try playing “SCABS” on today’s Wordle! Times employees definitely deserve more than the dearly departed “You’ve Got Mail” guy, who only got $200. If you’re looking for a more just leader anywhere out there, maybe head to a prediction market and put down money on the 43 monkeys who escaped from a South Carolina research lab.

Oh well, here’s some fun stuff…

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