Dark humor is deeply powerful, as anyone who’s scrolled on the internet for a single minute and found themselves erupting in a well-I-sure-hope-my-nap-mat-in-hell-is-cushy burst of laughter that brings with it a shudder of relief. Dark humor names the thing we’re most afraid of, and for a moment at least, it loosens the fear’s grip on our psyche. Plus, dark humor can bond us quite closely with members of the in-group we desire (for better and for worse, as we’ve seen with meme-driven politicization). 

I’ve been spending the last few months mulling over the role of comedy and extremely dark and inappropriate jokes while reading the comedian Youngmi Mayer’s memoir, I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, which is out this week. Amongst those plugged into a certain level of Asian online-ness and the New York comedy scene, Mayer is a familiar figure as the chaotic and very cool pastel-haired downtown cool kid who reels off stories about her life with nearly provocative levels of awkwardness and conviction; I’d seen her at standup nights in the past and always wondered what her deal was. 

But when I got an early copy of Mayer’s memoir, I found myself immediately sucked into her life story, which in terms of like, building resilience in the face of pain and trauma and immovable power structures, is very likely the thing you need to read right now. But what makes I’m Laughing extra radical—arguably heralding in a new, much more interesting era of Asian-American art—is this evil genius talent that Mayer has for saying things about race and society that feel like a shocking—and orienting—slap to the face. I have this kind of manic belief that, if nothing else, it’ll be this kind of cutting comedy that carries the day. Per Mayer’s thesis, that’s how the generations before us have always coped. I hope you’ll give my conversation with Mayer a read here at ELLE, but honestly, I just really want you guys to read her book. It looks like this: go get it and tell me what you think.

This week’s Deez Links is (are?) brought to you by Pinstripe:

 What if there was something like Facebook Marketplace, but it wasn't sketchy and annoying af? This past week I bought my first item on Pinstripe (a sick Y3 Hoodie for $40) and instead of going to a random location or some stranger's home, I was able to pick the item up at The Brooklyn Vintage Club in Williamsburg -- a really cool vintage store I never heard of.  Pinstripe lets you try on whatever you buy and gives you a full refund if it isn't up to your liking. It's become my favorite way to shop online closet sales in my New York City.

I’m still waiting for the next few weeks to shake out before fully trusting any post-election analysis, but one article that HAS imprinted on my brain last week is this 2013 Atlantic article about Why Some People Respond to Stress by Falling Asleep, which I came across after texting some friends on Wednesday morning “umm i weirdly passed out at like 9pm? Is that normal?” re: election night. Like one minute I was happily making dinner with MSNBC blaring in the background, and the next I felt quite suddenly and peculiarly catatonic, so I went to the living room and passed out for an hour on the couch?? Did this happen to any of you? 

It sounds quite cute to describe: she was so overwhelmed she fell asleep? Like a toddler? But I found it eerie, like an internal check engine light. We’re all duly wary of entrenching ourselves in ~*~*self care *~*~ content and vibes at the moment—getting a facial does not nor did it ever a political act make oops lol—but that whole experience is leading to some serious conversations (with friends, health professionals, and even just myself) about the actual nuts and bolts of getting a grip on stress in the longterm so that we can actually be of use instead of continously turning more and more inward. 

For some counterprogramming (unfortunately of the New York-based type): I went to see the Ai Wei Wei show at Faurschou (there also is a parallel one at Vito Schnabel). The premise is basically converting both iconic and political images into giant toy brick works—Lego murals, essentially—and the resulting fried pixelation effect made me consider the inherent shoddiness of human eyesight, how we rely on a limited set of pinprick impressions to form our understanding of a greater reality. 

It was also just an amazing lesson in color theory; like look at how he translated the color of an ice floe into this near-mathematical assortment of greens, oranges, and pinks:

For more IRL brain absorption, I also went to the Museum of Chinese in America (an institution that is not without its controversies obvi) to see their exhibit on Gen X Asian-American magazines. That was fascinating to see the medium’s transition from what began largely as highly political pamphlets—usually created by students—that attempted to define and advocate for a new demographic…….. into lifestyle publications that clearly went on to find the more lucrative value in marketing/selling certain objects or services to said demographic. 

It was an interesting exercise in thinking about the American population: how and when does a certain demo become politically and economically powerful? And is the latter requisite for the former?

This show also introduced me to the existence of this TIME cover story, which as the show’s curator Herb Tam wryly observed to me during our walk-through, was arguably more responsible for perpetuating the model minority myth than any other piece of media. That sounds so quaint and top-down compared to our current fractured discourse landscape, but I think it can still be done! (Derogatory/threatening) 

Finally, (1) current TikTok obsession:

By enjoying and expecting complex matters like anthropology and neuroendocrinology to be broken down into bite-size videos and served to me via TikTok algorithm to be consumed pretty non-critically oh so certainly makes me part of The Problem, but I can’t say I regret watching this Stanford professor / neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky’s lecture videos now that they keep popping up on my FYP…