Welcome to Garbage Weekend. It’s the internet garbage you know and love, but in a format that’s easier to read while you continue to wait to see if TikTok is banned.

This week, if you thought the Bluesky migration was big and, also, kind of silly, just wait until you see the RedNote migration. No one is sure whether this is propaganda working or failing, so it’s probably safest to just be a creep and blame Taylor Lorenz for everything somehow. In other transfers of power, President Joe Biden delivered his farewell address, where he called for sweeping anti-corruption reforms and warned of the dangers of oligarchy, before driving away in his hot dog car. The White House’s other dubious accomplishments this week include a ceasefire in Gaza, except not really; and going back on banning TikTok, except not really, except maybe really…look, we’ll go into this further behind the paywall.

Oh well, here’s some fun stuff…

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